One More Day

My blog to connect with the un-connectable part of me, its time to do me a favor and share my life as I go thru recovery. You see I have a part of me that has been with me so long that even though I want to heal and let go of that part, I don't know how to be me without it. It's time to let go and embrace the new me, but that is terrifying. I have used that part as an excuse for so long, "I can't date/be friends because I can't even take care of myself." It is time to say goodbye.

There is a girl inside of me who wants to connect and to be loved, and wanted. But there is a woman inside of me who oppresses her, saying "don't burden others, they have their own problems already, and who are you to say that yours demands attention?" or the other lie I tell my self is that I don't want them to feel like I am needy, they will run if I ask of them, or my favorite yet "I don't want others to feel like I am manipulating them, because I know I posses a talent for that". 

Today all I want is a ridiculously large stuffed animal to hug and disappear into. To know that I am here, and not going to disappear or float away.