Confessions

Dear family, you know those jokes you make abou me being lazy, and how I laugh them off and you just keep going? Sometimes they hurt, I don't want this life. I want to be adventurous, I want to be fearless and a go getter I want to do it all, but sometimes depression and anxiety get the best of me and it's just to much to ask for. It's to much to ask me to put ornaments on the tree this year, it's to much to ask me to sit and listen to you debate about what color for your quilt. I don't mind giving my opinion but then listen to it and let me be. Sometimes it's to much to make dinner or make that "easy" side dish for dinner. 

You may never know how much I suffer because I don't want to ruin your perception of me. If I dissappointed you in that way it would destroy me. So instead I hold on and laugh at your jokes and push on another day wondering when it gets better.